Doing things My way
by The Other Side of Darkness
Summary: Meet K. A young man with red hair, strange eyes, a black leather cloak and enough power behind one click of the fingers to destroy a world. Pairings. NaruIno NeijiTen SasuSaku maybe others. One shot.


_**WARNING READER! READ AT RISK OF YOUR OWN SANITY!**_

OK, People, let me point something out right here and right now. This story, if that's what it could be called, is not meant to be serious, it will probably piss a lot of you off, and most of all there are some characters that I dislike that I am going to bag on. Infact I'm going to bag on everyone, if I feel like it.

Things are going to happen that happened in my mind alone because I felt like making it happen. Don't be surprised if something upsets you, makes you laugh, or makes you lust for my blood like a vampire that hasnt had a drop for a month. On that note. Please, Flame me. It will do you no good. I'm only posting one chapter anyway.

Disclaimer: Even if I did own Naruto( Which I don't) I would still write fanfiction for it.

Pissing people off and proud of it!

The quiet village of Konoha was waking up one sunny morning. All seemed peaceful, birds chirped their early morning songs, the sun warmed the earth, a gentle breeze blew in from the west. The day almost had a euphoric feel to it, promising good things to come.

"Oh, how wrong that assumtption is," said a deep voice from under a black hood as he stalked towards the village. The high red walls loomed over him as he neared it.

He smirked as he neared the gate and two chuunin guards watched him warily till he was within ten feet of them.

"State your name and business in our village," the one with black hair said. The figure pulled back his hood, showing slightly tanned skin, red hair, strange eyes, and a smirk that could surpass Orochimaru's.

"My name," he bowed low bringing one hand under his stomach and putting the other elegantly out to the side," is unimportant. I'm here to change the world." He lifted his head to cast his strangely colored eyes in the direction of the two chuunin. They both looked at him with something akin to confusion but hid it well.

"If you don't tell us your name, we can not let you enter," the one with grey hair said, reaching slowly for his kunai pouch.

The stranger suddenly stood upright and clicked his thumb and middle finger. The grey haired chuunin's eyes widened in surprise to find his kunai pouch missing. Looking back at the stranger his surprise turned to a slight amount of fear. The stranger was holding not only his pouch but also his partners in his left hand.

"Now, now, no need for hostility. I assure, my business is benevolent," he said with that smirk on his face from before. He already knew his words would go unheeded and waited for one of them to start handseals.

Right on time the black haired one began doing the seals for a fire jutsu. The stranger clicked his fingers again, his smirk growing even more wicked if possible.

"Sorry, boys, no justus. They tend to annoy me," he almost laughed as both men felt their chakra become only big enough to keep them alive.

"What the hell are you?" one asked as the stranger replaced the hood on his head.

"A creature beyond your comprehension," with that and another click of his fingers the gates opened and he walked in, whistling a merry tune from his youth.

Both chuunin looked at eachother then nodded. On grabbed a flare gun and shot it into the sky, alerting the ANBU of an indtruder with deadly intentions.

99

Not two minutes later, the stranger was in the middel of the village surrounded by eight ANBU and a crowd of spectators.

"You are under arrest by order of the Hokage. Please come quietly."

The man chuckled and lifted his right arm with blinding speed making all the ANBU jump into defensive stances.

"I told those idiots at the gate I wasn't here to do anything hostile," he clicked his fingers and all the ANBU one by one fell asleep. Another click and they floated in the air over to a patch of grass in a nearby park.

He gave the area a glance, noticing the fearful stares he was getting from the villagers. He smirked and pulled down his hood once again showing his face.

"OK, this place is as good as any. Now if I had any sense of patience I'd ask one of the villagers to fetch the old hag but I don't so..." a click of his fingers and the Godaime, her desk, and her paperwork appeared in the village square. Her eyes were about as wide as the rest of the villagers.

"What the hell...?" were her first words then she noticed the stranger and frowned, "Who are you? Did you do this?"

"Yes I did this and I'll tell you my name when everyone's here," another click and Jiraiya and Naruto appeared both holding a cup of ramen. There reaction was much the same as Tsunade's, but the stranger ignored them and moved on to his next click.

All of the rookie nine, plus team Gai, and their sensei's appeared. Before anyone could even say a word the stranger spoke up.

"Hold your questions we have six more people coming. Oh, and Hokage-sama don't worry. When Orochimaru arrives he'll only have enough chakra to keep him alive, and will be strapped to a chair," before the shock at his words could recede enough for anyone to speak he lifted his left hand and clicked his thumb and middle fingers on both hands bringing forth Gaara, Kankuro, Temari, Orochimaru, Sasuke, and finally Kabuto. The last three were strapped to chairs by glowing wires.

"OK, Now that everyone's here, lets get down to business. My name is K. I am searching for someone. I know she's not here, but I thought I'd stop by and change a few things while I'm here. Any questions?" he looked around at the circle of ninja.

"What the hell makes you think you've got me trapped?" It was Sasuke. K just smirked at him and lifted his right hand out to his side. He clicked once and a pink barrier seperated him and Sasuke from the rest of the ninja. He clicked again and Sasuke was released from his chair and all of his power was returned to him.

"Kill me... if you can," not a moment later Sasuke was standing before the tall stranger in the black robes, his arm going through the young man's chest, holding his heart out on the other side. He clenched his fist around the heart destroying it.

Many of the ninja had to look away, but Orochimaru looked on with pride. Pride soon turned to shock, and shock to fear, as they all realized the stranger didn't even show the slightest hint that he felt Sasuke's attack. He grabbed Sasuke's arm and slowy pulled it out of his chest, the squelching sounds making some of the people in the audience become sick.

Once the arm was fully removed from his chest he took the crushed heart back from the too-stunned-to-move Uchiha, put it back in his chest, and clicked his fingers. Any damage that could be seen before was completely gone except for a hole in his clothing.

K looked at the hole and cursed, "God fucking damn it! I just bought this outfit too! Why did the only power I not think of have to be mending clothing!" He clicked his fingers angrily and the Uchiha was back in his chair next to Orochimaru.

"Next question," he glared at Sasuke momentarily before turning to look at everyone else.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO SASUKE-KUN?"

"Ah, yes, Sakura. Let's see what shall I do with you," K ignored the question smirking as he brought his left hand up to scratch his chin in thought then clicked his fingers. Everyone flinched waiting for something to happen, but nothing did except for a small shout of triumph. "I got it!" He walked over to Sakura took her by the hand and turned her to face the Uchiha.

"What are you doing, you clickity freak!" she yelled at him causing him to laugh.

"Well that's a new one. Never been called clickity before," he chuckled a litte more before clearing his throat," OK, Now look at Sasuke, infact go sit on his lap. Don't worry he's not going to protest," K clicked his fingers once more and Sakura sat on Sasuke's lap, Sasuke had his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin on her shoulder.

"For the rest of the day you're going to experience the Sasuke you've always wanted too. But when night falls you're veiled eyes will no longer be shielded by ignorance and you'll see Sasuke for what he truly is." Sakura seemed to be too busy enjoying Sasuke holding her to even hear what K said.

K turned to look through the crowd and noticed a beyond pissed Naruto. He then looked back at Sakura and Sasuke. He grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.

"Uh, yeah, sorry man. But here, I have a gift four you," K for the millionth time, clicked his fingers. Naruto's rage turned to mild sorrow before becoming lighted anew. "And Ino-chan, now would be a good time to tell Naruto." Another click and Ino was next to Naruto a blush streaking across her face.

"Tell me what?" Naruto asked curiously. The blush deepened and she leaned into his ear and whispered something in his ear that made his eyes go wide. Ino stood back, looking at the ground. Naruto turned to stare at her for a moment before speaking.

"Since when?"

"After you beat Neiji in the Chuunin exams..." she replied quietly. Naruto was quiet for another length of time. everyone had their own thoughts of what Ino had said to him and most would be right in their guess.

"So... after this mess... wanna go out some time?" Naruto sounded a little unsure, like he wasn't quite sure if this was the right thing to do.

Ino nodded slowly in response, a smile growing on her face. She sat next to Naruto on the ground and the two began a quiet uneasy, at first, conversation.

"Who's next?"

"Why are you doing all this?" this time Tsunade spoke. K turned to look at her and smiled almost devilishly.

"Well, i'm doing all this because I feel like it. Now what will I be doing to you?" he suddenly felt the angry eyes of Naruto and Sakura on him again. He snorted. "Chill out. I promise I'm not going to hurt anyone." The glares faded a bit but he could still feel them slightly, making sure he didn't do anything bad.

"Well let's see. Your boobs are too big," a click, "and you like looking young so..." another click, "and finally..." one last click and he was done. Everyone looked at Tsunade to see what this god-like stranger had done to their beloved hokage and nearly died in shock.

Tsunade now stood as a twenty year old, C-cup woman with all the knowledge she had from the years past. Tsunade disbelievingly touched her face, making sure it was no illusion. A smile appeared only to be replaced by a frown. So maybe her bust was a little _pronounced_. She was proud of it.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Jiraiya cried out at the loss of one of his biggest inspriations for his Icha Icha paradise books, namely Tsunade's ungodly boob size.

"Which bring me to the super-pervert," he gave his fingers a sharp click. Everyone looked at Jiraiya expectantly. Nothing seemed different... until Jiraiya screamed bloody murder.

"IT'S GONE! WHERE IS IT? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT!" everyone flinched at how loud the sannin was.

"What's gone, Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked confusedly.

"MY MANHOOD IS GONE!" before anyone could turn away Jiraiya dropped his pants, showing a blank spot of flesh where his genitalia normally would be and continued crying as everyone stared in disbelief. K stifled his laughter and spoke before anyone could start getting angry.

"Don't worry it's temporary, old man. It'll grow back in a month or two," he turned to the crowd," Next."

Neiji stood up, a stern look on his face.

"Stoney," K rubbed his chin while Neiji twitched at the nickname, "Now what can I do for you?..." He became quiet again, frowning in thought. Just before the Hyuuga could speak, the stranger continued. " I got you covered."

"What do you mean?" came the disbelieving response.

"I mean I got something I know you'll like," he clicked his fingers and a large scroll appeared in his hand," Here take this." Neiji cautiously stepped forward and grabbed the scroll and unrolled it a little ways.

"The Scroll of Unsealing," he read aloud.

"Now it's not a cure for your seal, but it's a step in the right direction. I figured you'd be too damn proud to let me just take the damn thing off you so there you go. Next," as Neiji walked back to his seat one would almost think they could see a tear of joy be shed from the Hyuuga's eye.

Next Hyuuga Hinata stood up, poking her fingers together nervously. She gave a longing glance toward Naruto and Ino. Mistake it not. It was no longer a stare of longing for Naruto but for what he had. She wanted someone that could love her the way she needed.

"I see," K said not even needing the shy girl to say anything. He clicked his fingers and gave Hinata a reasuring smile, "there is someone waiting for you. No, I didn't create him, he's always been there, but you two don't know each other yet. You're going to have to become strong if you want to meet him. You're going to have to raise your cnfidence too. If you don't do these two things you two will never meet, understand?" the shy look on the Hyuuga girl turned into fierce determination as she nodded. It would take some serious work, but K knew he had set her on the right course.

Sabaku no Gaara was beginning to grow impatient and before anyone else could get up he stood, glaring at the stranger. His arms were crossed over his chest. K looked at him quizzically for a second then smirked a smirk that made Orochimaru flinch.

"You know," click," you'd look better as a girl." Gaara now stood with a female figure, long red hair the same eyes and a bit of shock, "and you need to get some sleep." He clicked his fingers again and the now female Gaara slumped to the ground, dead asleep and... sucking her thumb? Of course Kankuro and Temari were scared out of their minds that any moment Shukaku would wake up.

"Oh, you worry warts, did you really think I'd forget about his demon? He's completely sealed now," he smiled and looked at Temari and his smile changed into a smirk," I know what you want." He clicked his fingers and suddenly she was next to Shikamaru.

"What the..? Why is she here?" Shikamaru asked. Temari looked hesitant to speak.

"Hey hey, Don't make me click you into doing what you want," K warned holding up his right hand in clicking position. In an instant Temari was on Shikamaru with a kiss more passionate than he'd ever felt. It took him a second to respond but Shikamaru, not wanting to be outdone by a girl, started to kiss back just as inflamed.

"Next?" K looked around and counted the people in his mind and smirked once again turning to Kankuro who was no longer looking that frightened by the sleeping Gaara and was studying her almost curiously. K clicked his fingers and a thin stick, perfect for poking things, appeared in his hand. He held it out to the second sand sibling.

"Go on take it, you know you want to," K smirked as Kankuro took the stick slowly and started gently poking his once brother as she slept.

Next Tenten stood up to get his attention. K looked at her and cocked his head to the side in deap thought.

"Hep, I'm stumped. What do you want?" he asked with a grin. Tenten almost growled at the lack of response for her.

"I want..." she turned to look at her Hyuuga team mate who was too busy reading the scroll to notice anything in the outside world. K nodded and smiled.

"Sorry, kit. That's another one I don't have. Can't make people fall in love. But maybe if you help him in getting rid of that seal he'll notice you," Tenten just glared at him angrily.

Next Rock Lee jumped up enthusiastically.

"What gift do you have for me, Oh Strange Clickity One?" K raised an eyebrow.

"That's the second time someone has called me 'clickity'. Well anyways, I think I got something you're gonna like Lee-kun," Lee looked excited as K clicked his fingers. Next thing he knew his body felt heavier if only slightly.

"Sir, what did you do?" Lee asked curiously. K just smiled.

"A martial artist should have a body that can withstand his art form. The last time you used the Celestial gates you nearly ended your carreer as a ninja becase of broken bone pieces in you nerve system. Now your bones are made of an indestructible metal called addamantium. Now your muscles and ligaments can still get fucked up so don't go on any suicidal quests till you finish your training."

K sweat dropped when he noticed he wasn't being listened too as Gai and Lee hugged eachother tears steaming little river out of their eyes with cries of 'Gai-sensei' and 'Lee-kun'. K decided that the gift for Lee was also enough for Gai and moved to the next person. Gai's eternal rival, Kakashi.

"Not even gonna ask," K said just before clicking his fingers. Kakashi now stood at an alter in a tuxedo next to Kurenai in a brides dress, with Asuma as the presiding priest, and Iruka as the witness.

"You may kiss the bride," Asuma said after taking in a drag of his cigarette. Nervously Kakashi lifted Kurenai's veil and she in return lowered his mask and their lips met. In the back ground Gai could be hear crying again shouting out, "That's so beautiful!"

K next turned to the remaining members of team eight. He shrugged.

"You," he pointed to Kiba," you smell like a dog, you act like a dog," a click," now you are a dog." Indeed he was as a white dog bigger than Akamaru sat on his haunches, red triangles under his eyes a brown mess of a mane on his head, and Kiba's jacket.

"And you," this time he pointed at Shino," are just creepy so I'll just give you an entirely new species of bug." A click, a puff of smoke and flying infront of Shino was what looked like a mix between a dragonfly, a butterfly, and a tarantula, along side it's mate.

"And what are these exactly?" asked Shino showing as much emotion as he normally did.

"That's for you to decide. Have fun. Oh and they work in colonies like bees or the bugs under your skin. Next!" His eyes scanned over the crowd and landed on Chouji who looked a little nervous.

"OK, You look hungry," he clicked his fingers and their before chouji was the biggest pork roast he had ever seen in his life. It was as tall as he was and twice as thick, "This wont spoil so take your time eating it," Chouji pounced on it and started taking vicious bites out of it, "ooor not."

"And now it's finally down to you two, Orochimaru, Kabuto," He smirked and raised both of his hands,"Lets go for a two in one. Orochimaru, you're too pretty. Kabuto, I just don't like you." He clicked both hands and smirked in stisfaction at the twin screams of horror.

Orochimaru's hair had shortened into a crew cut and disfiguring scars were all over his body.

Kabuto had it much worse. It was the one thing he couldn't heal; a sex change. No, not a full blown change like what Gaara had, but one of those half ass, inverted dick changes guys get in Sweden.

K smirked and went through his mental list of names, "I think that covers every body. Oh wait I did forget one. Naruto," K called out to the fourteen year old who finally was comfortable talking to Ino.

"Yeah?" he asked cautiously.

"Give this to Sasuke when he get's back," K held out a small package wrapped in cloth.

"What is it?"

"A video tape of what really happened at the Uchiha compound the night of the murders. Just be sure he sees it when he get's back."

"Get's back? Where'd he go?" K pointed to the chair that Sasuke and Sakura occupied a couple minutes ago that now had the upper part of sakura dress and Sasuke's pants hanging off of it with a note saying ' OutTo Lunch' on it.

"Oh," Naruto's face turned red at the implication.

"Well I better be off. Places to be and worlds to change," He gave his newest work one last look over before nodding. He clicked his fingers and Orochimaru and Kabuto were back in Otogakure while everyone else stayed where they were.

"Bye, everybody, have fun," one las click and the strange young man who had literally changed their world was gone.

"I wonder if he'll find who he's looking for," Ino questioned quietly as Naruto sat down beside her again.

"Who knows, maybe he will, maybe he wont. Hope he does though."

"WHO CARES? MY DICK IS STILL GONE!" Jiraiya screamed still checking to make absolutely sure it wasn't there and that he wasn't just drunk or something. Everyone around him laughed at him, though the guys kept it down considering how they would feel if it happened to them.

( In another world)

" Let's see, next stop is..." K pulled a list out from his left sleeve and smirked, "Highten View Terrace. Another day, another world to change." He began whistling another merry tune as he walked/danced towards his next stop in Tokyo.

A/N: And so we have a story that is going to piss people off. I don't know who it will piss off but i know someone is going to be mad. Anyways if you guys want an epilogue to this just tell me in a review and i might post up another chapter.

Also about how powerful K is. I've seen a ton of fictions with super powered OCs and thought i'd try it my way. And this is what happened. So anyways. hope you had fun reading it or got pissed off, either way nice to have you as a reader please review.


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